Friday Feelings — 8th Edition — The Good

I wrote a few weeks ago about loving loudly. I try very hard to do this in my life, and I worry that sometimes people don’t know how to take it because they’re not of the same unguarded disposition. I’m not right. They’re not wrong. It’s all a quiet calculus in this world. By my calculations, there is more time when we feel unloved and unloveable, lonely and unimportant than that in which we appreciate and accept ourselves as being fundamentally loved to the core of our essence. No caveats. We’re shaped by the currents around us. The good, the bad, and the ugly actors who cross our path, and who we become is simply a coping mechanism. A response. A surrendering of marble.

So very much energy is poured into explaining what we don’t like, and who. Sometimes with an accompanying, occasionally rational explanation. But it creates a recirculating noise chamber in which only the hard and hurtful sound cuts through. I am trying to move to a place where I expend more energy on the good, and I humbly ask that you consider joining me on that journey.

Yes, there are things categorically ungood. They bring us distress, anxiety, and worse. It is easy to be overcome by them, but for the sake of not missing all the wonderful good that there is, it’s essential to break gaze with the rest, lest we turn to stone.

These are good:

• Emma. She carries more than she would ever disclose, but never allows it to change her outlook on people. Her kindness and positive attitude have ensured that everywhere she’s been, people have loved her and felt valued. It’s not something she would ever appreciate in full, because we never understand ourselves. Or, rather, we can only understand ourselves from our own perspective, which — though arguably the most important — is but a tiny portion of who we actually are. Emma is amazing and an absolute ray of light.
• The kids. They are each so wonderfully themselves, all posing their own challenges to the project of parenthood and finding their own strengths in the world. I wish I were better able to overlook the missteps, but I so desperately want them to be as well-prepared for the world as they can be. Yet they all shine so brightly. Bean exploring Mandarin and music, Thumper enthralled by books and facts, Kraken encyclopaedic on the parts of Lego and Star Wars known to him (and perhaps a budding baker, as he loves Bake Off and described a custard cream as “buttery and crumbly” which is not bad going for a 4-year-old).
• The band. These people are such a joy to have found, and to make music with them is an extraordinary privilege. The particular good this week is that we have a ticketed gig next month, and we have already nearly sold out our allocation. No, the numbers aren’t huge, and we’re not a big deal. But it feels so amazing that we are doing this and that there are people who believe in it, too. They know the words and they sing them. It’s utter madness, and such a source of warmth.
• Giri/Haji — I have written about it a couple times. It may not be to everyone’s taste, but it’s just astonishingly good television. Finished watching it 2.5 weeks ago and have thought about it daily since, itching to watch it again. It says something in a way that most programmes don’t, or at least it does so in a more effective and compelling way. For fuck’s sake, I listened to so many conversations about Breaking Bad or Game of Thrones, but this isn’t on the pop culture radar, and you should watch it on iPlayer.
• In All Weather, by Josienne Clarke — This was released today, and if you have been reading these posts, you will have been introduced to the singles put out already. Having listened to the full album a few times already (in order, as that’s how things worked before our attention spans were blitzed), I can only encourage you to sit with it, even if just once. There’s always more new music being made and released than you could ever hope to hear, so it is vital when something shines that it be given its due. There is no huge marketing machine, no anthemic appeals for arena-size validation. What the album is, which so many aren’t, is clear in its purpose and devastating in its delivery. If I were an actual music writer, I would go more in depth, but I am just a person with ears and a heart encouraging you to listen. Nothing is wasted, and although liberation is at the centre, there is no question that freedom comes at a cost. Exceptional songs.
• You. No matter what you may think, or may have done, you are still good. You can still be better and brighter, and you can choose to accept love.

Have a great weekend. Binge Giri/Haji and soak your ears in sad sounds. x